she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
