I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
