Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
