so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
