i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
