we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
