I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
