She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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