Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
