i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
