we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
