this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
