So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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