Sry I called you an 8
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
