He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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