i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
