I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
