wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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