My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
