i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
