hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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