I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there is puke in my bra ... again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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