And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize