so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
