he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
