Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just had sex on a roof
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