You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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