I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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