I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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