curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
