I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was confusing and full of hummus
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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