oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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