I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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