Cold hands, warm shart.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
