Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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