apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
