i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
