You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
