every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
