I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize