the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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