Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
