Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
