I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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