I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
