I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
