If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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