Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
