I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize