I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
