honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
