I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
wow bdsm is so cute
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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