hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
