I looked at my own cervix.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
