I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
