some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
