the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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