I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
