Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize