Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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