Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
