hotel room ftw
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
