Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize